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My Life - Uncensored & Unscripted

April 29, 2008
23:51
The Waist vs. Hips Pheomenon
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I was reading my Psyc textbook the other day, and I came across some interesting stuff. Well, it might not be interesting to you, but you know how I find everything 'interesting.'

According to my Psyc textbook, men generally prefer women whose waists are 30% smaller than their hips.

So guess what I did? Yeap, you guessed it. I got my measuring tape (which is always handy by the way), and I got to measuring.

It is with great difficulty and shame that I regret to announce the news: my waist is 7% bigger than it should be, which means that my waist is only 23% smaller. **sigh**

So I've been wondering, and pondering how to fix this new physical problem I just found out (as if I don't have enough already!) I have come up with three options:

Option 1: Decrease my waist size by 7%. This will be achieved by doing 500 sit ups in the morning, 500 sit ups during lunch, and 500 sit ups in the night. I'll even have sit ups for dessert and snacks sef. In addition to this, I will eat only fruits & veggies, drink gallons of water, and run to wherever I'm going to. After all, running will save me some gas. I will also wear an extra tight corset 24/7 amd tie my stomach with that big belt. Back in the day, the belt was known as an 'abortion belt.' Whether this belt aborted any babies or not has been a mystery 2 me. I'm hoping it didn't.

Option 2: Increase my hips size by 7%. No dietery changes will be necessary for this. I'll just continue the diet I am currently on. It is known as the eat-sleep-then-eat-again diet. So far, it has worked for me. This will explain the rapid increase in my butt and thighs. At first, I thought it had something to do with global warming and the price of gas, but apparently not.

Option 3: Scrap the whole thing. These Psychologists dunno what they're talking about! As far as I'm concerned, 23% is the new 30% anyway.

...Yeap, I'm definitely going for option 3, albeit Option 2 is embedded in it...kinda sorta (but without the increase in hips size abeg).

LOL.

Note to God: Please understand that Option 2 is only a joke! If I wake up tomorrow morning and find one inch added to my hips, we go fight ooo! Make you no carry this kin thing dey play with me. Ehen. Let no1 say I did not tell God o because He has a way of playing practical jokes on me, and they are not funny!!!

So ladies, how much smaller is your waist???

To measure your waist, use your belly button as a landmark. Put the tape on your belly button and go around your tummy.

To measure your hips, use the farthest/biggest part of your butt as a landmark. Make sure the tape is lying on the side sticking out by the side of your thigh. If you do not have a side sticking out, then sorry o. E get as e be. LOL

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