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Okay, firstly... excuse my tardy update. I've got exams and lots of studying to do and I figured if i didnt update now.... I wouldnt till the end of May (hint hint)...
In between my sporadic studying, I've been getting engaged in alot of drama.
Some of you might remember Mike who i was dating before? Well things arent so clear cut between us especially now that he has broken up with the hag he was cheating on me with and is trying to do a 360... sigh... he wishes. Who can blame him anyway, the babe went positively kolomental on him. One of her antics included smashing his phone because he dared text me when they were together. I must admit though, i got some kind of weird pleasure in winding her up simply because i needed her to be put in a situation where her niceties would fade sharpishly.
It did, Mike got a taster and has RUN. lol. WIMP.
But back to my Desperate Housewives tip above, Ive been thinking lately of past relationships (Mike excluded) and been wondering if its possible that I've let my greatest love slip through my fingers.
I say this because when I was 21/22, I fell in love with the most amazing guy. We even lived together before he relocated back to Naij.
In my sober moments, I think about him... but Ive been thinking about him alot lately... I guess this means i've been sober a lot. No?
Like how he used to run me baths, sit on the side and help me wash my hair.
Or how after Ive made dinner, we'd lie of the sofa and he'd rub my feet.
Or the fresh flowers I got to replace the old ones he got... he even got me fresh lavender. Where the hell do you get fresh lavender from?
Or how he'd sometimes carry me to bed. Yes o....!
He even framed our pictures and displayed round our(his) flat...
The beautiful text messages...
Picking me from work in the evenings and taking me to my favorite Italian.....
The more I think about him, the more regretful i feel I didnt make a better go of things.
Even with all of Mike's cash and swagger, nothing compared to that guy. He wasnt even wealthy like that... but we were sha happy.
Then there is Charles who i broke up with recently. Well, like April 06 or so. He probably fits into that Carlos spec.
He was incredibly possesive but at the same time extremely passionate.
Sometimes well into our relationship Id catch him looking at me with such intensity that I'd turn away blushing... I used to wonder what went through his mind at times like that but I was always too scared to ask incase it was something trivial. I prefered to imagine he was projecting us into the future.
Or how when we went for events together, he would hold my hand as we entered and wouldnt let go till someone I know pulled me away....
Ha! I remember once, we went for a house-party and i wore this really short A-line skirt with no knickers. Dear Lord forgive me! After a few drinks and few hours, Charles and I start dancing in this packed dark room, and soon enough, his hands found his way under my skirt. After like 15minutes, the guy said 'Bye' to everyone and dragged me home! lol. That night, I had one of the best sex experiences of my LIFE! Definitely Top 3. I'll spare you the sordid details.
The problem though with Charles was that his intensity and passion often crisscrossed with anger. Then, I wasnt an easy person to deal with. Extremely spoilt and idealistic, it was my way or no way. I hit a brick wall with him on many occassions. Him shouting at me, warning me.... Any other couple would walk out on each other but the truth of the matter was that we loved each other.
Even till now, Charles would go to the ends of the earth for me... but in a relationship, it was bloody volatile. Some might say, 'girl, thats not love - love is this love is that'... bullshit i say. Love is all that fairy tale stuff but add some grittiness for good measure because fact is, thats what life throws at you so DEAL and don't RUN like a bloody wimp.
I have no regrets with Charles.
I regret the ex I mentioned above, pity that he's now 'happily married' with a kid.
I regret Mike... other than my sweet Audi, he's been a cancer.
There is a general rule i have about getting back with exes. Sure its allowed but only if you guys know the score. Like, you know you're just shag buddies living out Okafor's law, or you're both ready to get serious and go down the aisle... If its not any of those options, why recycle?
Charles and I are a weird case. Whatever we felt for each other hasnt gone, its just been diverted with rebound relationships. Yes i know our relationship was volatile, but when it was good, it was also the best. I really felt the man will fight for me and go to the ends for me as long as he was respected and not constantly challenged (jump in a younger Chameleon).
Hmmmn, I'll figure this out after exams! My head hurts.
A friend I shared these feelings with called me a hopeless romantic! True?
Gosh, I hope not.
Regarding my 'Going White'... ive met a few interesting guys that I will blog about next.
Do i hear holiday home in Turks and Caicos???.... yessir! lol
Any background info on Mike or Charles will be found on the side bar, titled PLAYERS.
Ciao guys.
xxx
new poll and new music! enjoy!!
